CLUSTERFUCK
I think I am handling things to the best of my ability.
It is NOT Easy
I have been discouraged more than usual this past week.
I feel like there is not other side to the multiple CLUSTERFUCK(s) before me
Funny
Clusterfuck #2 has been going on for 4 months ON TOP of Clusterfuck #1 that has been going on for the past 18 months
Each situation is costing us more and more the longer it goes
(lost potential earnings due to gadfly’s incompetent/negligent management (lets not forget gadfly’s personal greed =1)
(Worsening cash flow problems due to selfish idiot narcissist martyr and the intentional inefficiencies, failure to act, over reactions, sniping acerbic comments made to her child, and not to mention trying to just get her served with the damn papers and get this thing OVER WITH)
BOTH are stalled –
No progress has been made
No steps past the initial one taken half a year ago
No closer to a resolution
Not one bit nearer to any final disposition.
Anticipation over the outcome(s) has been wearing me down.
More time lets the bad guys win
Just a little more each day
Their ill gotten gains fuel their spite and affirm the LACK OF INCENTIVE society gives for anyone to do “THE RIGHT THING” anymore
Competent advice & communication have now become a LUXURY
One that can be purchased (at a premium, of course) with the ILL GOTTEN GAINS OF THE PIOUS, NARCISSISTIC ANTAGONISTS
THE NARCISSISTS WILL WIN, YOU KNOW
LIKE FISH, THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FEELINGS
-the oppressors, the outragers, their audacity will amaze and sicken you. The wrongness will force you to reconsider your own personal belief structure and your faith in others. Were you a sucker all along??
You will give them too much credit for their ability to torment you.
YOU WILL GIVE THEM TOO MUCH POWER
SOON THEY WILL ONLY NEED TO EXPEND A NOMINAL AMOUNT OF ENERGY TO HARRASS YOU
BECAUSE YOU WILL BEGIN TO TORMENT YOURSELF
You will think and think and think “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?” “WHY DIDN’T I DO MORE TO PREVENT THIS”
Soon actions they took in the past that you dismissed – even though they seemed odd or fishy to you
Will take on a new significace as a piece in the puzzle of their “dastardly plan”
THE NARCISSISTS WILL WIN, YOU KNOW
LIKE FISH, THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FEELINGS
Whether you fight or flee
THEY still end up BETTER OFF
Than they would have otherwise
They still end up better off than they would have
If they had foregone their chosen course of action
They will win because you were held hostage
But not by them
By your emotions
Because you were the one who had to seek counseling to get through this
You were the one who had to cough up the legal fees to stand up to them
You afford it because you HAVE TO
You can not afford to not try because then you will lose all respect for yourself
You do what you must so that you can respect yourself tomorrow
They love that you are inconvenienced.
You laying awake at night agonizing
Means they are sleeping like a baby
They get to watch you while you navigate the obstacle course they engineered
JUST FOR YOU
They have tailored it to exploit
your weaknesses
your fears
your pride
your faith
your hope
your self respect
They will push all of your buttons and watch your soul squirm as doubt creeps in
Unlike fish, these non-feelers are not easily caught and fried
Their cunning conniving calculated premeditated schemes are not easily thwarted
Only upon casting your net to trap them- to beat them at their own game
Do you realize the gaping breaches that allow them to slip through the cracks of society and its justice system- virtually unscathed
The selfish untruthful nature of their game boggles the mind and gives rise to the question
“is it worth it???”
Then comes disgust
For yourself
Because answering that question with a no means complete surrender to the fiend who has so baltently and unabashedly wronged you
Can you live with yourself if you surrender??
Can you choose to walk away knowing that by doing so, you are also reinforcing their behavior. You will walk and they will be validated.
They will do this again
Maybe not to you
To someone
But I assure you they will do this again
Maybe they already are
Why wouldn’t they?
Us
I feel like I am alone in this
The waiting is wearing me down
I have been struggling to maintain composure
I have been having terrible headaches for a week now
He doesn’t listen
The technical mumbo jumbo bores him
He would rather watch advertisements
for feminine hygiene products on TV
Than hear me
I am hell bent on doing what is right
(Ultimately right)
There is a remarkable young lady depending on me
I wish I could do more, and yet I have long exceeded my tolerance for passive aggressive tactics
He hears that I am talking – trying to coax the hamster in his head onto the wheel
Why can’t he just listen and respond
Them
They target you because you are there
And they have a score to settle with the world
PREY IN SIGHT – YOU are squarely in their crosshairs
Their reptilian heart beats a little faster,
You are the mask
The patsy
The scapegoat
The fallguy
They will accuse you of everything that they are doing to you
Then they will tell you it is your fault that the are acting this way
Because you deserve it
You have something they don’t
They don’t like that
