Snakes

MR SNAKES

MR NOT

OSAR

CMBDIS

LIB

MR SNAKES

-Thanks to 

 Gil King (my teacher from real estate school)

for this one

The previous post made me think about it

HI

You are at Wesley's 

Making Colored Snakes 

out of paper that 

Wesley painted

The pieces are that  big - 

There are 84 colors

Because this is what people did before there was colored paper

THE SAME....BUT DIFFERENT

A collection of situations that I was once compelled to commit to writing for no reason in particular - only to later keep them to myself

ACTUALLY this is the same collection of situations and words that I  have been recycling for a while now

Anyway 

This is dedicated to all of you out there in the world who realize that 

real life will never be as cool as cartoons

(at least without hallucinogenic assistance)

AND YOU ARE BUMMED ABOUT IT

Have you ever wondered why that is??

My hypothesis is as follows:

1.  Real life will never be as cool as cartoons because

REAL LIFE is just that....

REAL

"It gets so real sometimes... 

 ...who wrote my rhyme"

-BRAD NOWELL - Sublime

"I fake it so real I am beyond fake.

(and) someday you will ache like I ache"

-COURTNEY LOVE - Hole

anyway - back to my hypothesis...

Cartoons were predictable in every way.

Back in the early '80's 

back when I was a little girl 

with a little boy's haircut, 

There was only 1 day a week that cartoons were on 

Actually I grew up just down the street from my grandparents in a house they built on some of their land just after I was born.  We didn't have garbage service where you put your trash out on the curb and the garbage trucks pick it up - 

We had a BURN BARRELL - much like what you see bums warming themselves around in the movies.  We set our trash on fire, we recycled the aluminum and steel cans, plastic, and glass, we composted all vegetable waste, and fed meat scraps to the dogs.

We did not have cable television

We had an antenna (and usually only 3 channels)

Instead of zoning out staring at the "idiot box" like so many other children of the 80's,

I rode horses with my grandpa, went fishing with my dad, gardened with my grandmother, climbed trees, read books, played music, went to church and PLAYED OUTSIDE

HOWEVER...  

There was almost no keeping me from my saturday morning ritual

Smurfs, galaxy high, Loony Tunes, Snorks, Hulk Hogan's Rockin' Wrestling, Jem, Alvin & the Chipmunks, Muppet Babies, GARFIELD, Heathcliff, Superfriends, Masters of the Universe (He-Man, for those of you who don't know) Saved by the Bell, etc...

They were there like clockwork every week.  Same time, same channel

With all the bright colors, the super powers, and the advertisements for toys that I did not yet know I wanted 

(Micro Machines guy was the shit - even though I never had any desire to play with micromachines)

Real life comes at you all at once 

so it seems

Real life is not SAFE

It is not pretty brightly colored images

 After 30 minutes the bad guy or bully's dastardly scheme has unraveled.  The foes have been vanquished, the plots have been foiled, and the world is a wonderful place again.

REAL LIFE does have plenty of 

*PROTAGONISTS

(man v man, man v nature, man v self - just like 7th grade English class taught you)

*BAD GUYS

(and they don't wear costumes, so they are not always easy to spot when you are out there in the REAL world)

In the REAL world, there is not International Coalition of heroes who keep tabs on the bad guys.  It is just you  and them  and everyone else.  If you can manage not to be noticed, you are unlikely to become a target.  

Cartoons stimulate and inspire desires to be a "good person"

especially when being processed through the mind 

and imprinted upon the perception of a 5 year old

They inspire such statements such as "I want to be Wonder Woman when I grow up"

Or my personal best one:

"When I grow up to be a boy

I want to be a DALLAS COWBOY

I WANT TO BE TONY DORSETT"

Couple these aspirations with your parents, grandparents, teachers, etc... constantly telling you that you can "do anything" or that you can "be whatever you want to be"

Secure that I was in possession of some amount of potential (remember - this was before I started school where it was proven that I had a vast amount of potential), I somehow formed a postulate, or a presumption that most people were good, and that everything was going to be ok, and that my life would probably kick ass

I also developed a strong and hypersensitive "sense of fairness"

IT SUCKS

I also am a recovering optimist 

It was not until my 28th year on this planet that I finally grasped that people can be out to get you for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON

This was when the flood of narcissists unleashed their malignant might against me